I didn’t think that men had biological clocks…

…but then I saw a toddler run away from his dad at the entrance to Disneyland, and the dad lunged after him and scooped him up, and the toddler–who started off by sprinting into the park–was suddenly FLYING into the park, shrieking with joy, and I’m just like


Published in: on May 21, 2017 at 12:32 am  Leave a Comment  

In my brief time at Disneyland, I worked at the Indiana Jones ride.

The high point was when a guest mistook me for an Indy face character.


Unfortunately, I’ve never really connected with that franchise, so I don’t understand the character well enough to pretend to be him.

So when the guest greeted me with, “Hey! It’s Indy!” the best I had to offer was, “That’s right, buckaroo!” and when he looked crestfallen, I consoled him with, “You just keep on truckin’, pal!”

Maybe it’s for the best that I didn’t stay, huh?

Published in: on January 4, 2016 at 11:32 pm  Leave a Comment  

Spieling in the Temple

Skippers don’t spiel in the Jungle Cruise‘s Cambodian Temple.  There isn’t a clear reason why.

Some claim it’s because the acoustics don’t pair well with the tinny microphone.  Some are content with the explanation that, “The script doesn’t provide any material for the Temple, so we’re not allowed to,” which is a long way of saying, “Because I say so.” Personally, I don’t like spieling in the Temple because it’s a gorgeously themed space.  The tone is so eerie.  To me, it’s the purest icon of Adventureland:  nature reclaiming humankind’s efforts.  It’s a sobering moment of meditation amid the puns. All that said, there was one time that I spieled in the Temple–without the microphone, I hasten to add, so it wasn’t wholly disruptive.  I hated how much I didn’t hate it. (more…)

Published in: on July 8, 2015 at 3:54 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Forensic Stories

Forget Seinfeld–theme parks are unique in telling a type of story where nothing happens.

They feature neither dialogue nor action. There are no visible protagonists, objectives, or antagonists. The events began, escalated, and resolved long before we arrived.

These stories are forensic. They leave archeological clues that imply what happened, which lets us assemble the pieces together into a narrative.


Published in: on November 20, 2013 at 10:29 am  Leave a Comment  
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Ian Went to Disneyland Alone

I had a tough time at USC.  Towards the end, I was kinda shellshocked.

So I celebrated my last day by playing hookey, and going to Disneyland, instead.

My friends were too busy to join me–but I didn’t mind.  Sure, I needed their support to earn my Master’s, but I didn’t need it to enjoy the Happiest Place on Earth!

Look what a swell time I had by myself!


Published in: on March 19, 2013 at 3:34 pm  Leave a Comment